Waiting & Nail Biting

So as tomorrow grows nearer, I find myself dwelling on the what if's of the outcome of Evan's UGI. What if he has to have surgery? What if something goes wrong? What if he can't have anesthesia? What if he's allergic to anesthesia? What if he's allergic to pain meds? It's not even for sure that he'll have to have surgery, but for whatever reason my mind has decided on the worst possible scenario, and therefore is playing out all the possibilities of what could go wrong. I don't normally consider myself a pessimist, but maybe I am. Every time I try to steer my thoughts to something else more pleasant, they just drift right back. I've tried to keep myself busy, but inevitably, he wakes up or starts to cry or whatever, then I'm back in his room alone with him and my mind is racing all over again. I am so ready for some answers, and ready for him to get some relief from all this pain and discomfort. I really hope that tomorrow brings both to us.